Comments on: One can become stronger in difficult situations http://www.morph3ous.net/2005/08/10/one-can-become-stronger-in-difficult-situations/ Random IT Stuff Mon, 12 Dec 2011 09:19:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Brian http://www.morph3ous.net/2005/08/10/one-can-become-stronger-in-difficult-situations/comment-page-1/#comment-33 Brian Mon, 05 Sep 2005 01:47:56 +0000 http://www.morph3ous.net/2005/08/10/one-can-become-stronger-in-difficult-situations/#comment-33 Tybalt, how right you are. It is hard to reason things through before acting upon them, but it is definitely worth doing. The one thing that we can control in all situations is our own behavior. If we can control our own reactions to different situations by stepping back and being more in the moment, then I feel that our reactions will better express who we really are inside. Gut reactions usually come out of feeling threatened and needing to protect oneself, and oftentimes do not reflect who we really are. Thanks for your contribution to this blog. Tybalt, how right you are. It is hard to reason things through before acting upon them, but it is definitely worth doing. The one thing that we can control in all situations is our own behavior. If we can control our own reactions to different situations by stepping back and being more in the moment, then I feel that our reactions will better express who we really are inside. Gut reactions usually come out of feeling threatened and needing to protect oneself, and oftentimes do not reflect who we really are.

Thanks for your contribution to this blog.

]]> By: Tybalt http://www.morph3ous.net/2005/08/10/one-can-become-stronger-in-difficult-situations/comment-page-1/#comment-32 Tybalt Sat, 03 Sep 2005 00:23:54 +0000 http://www.morph3ous.net/2005/08/10/one-can-become-stronger-in-difficult-situations/#comment-32 Most feelings of insecurity are caused by unhelpful thought processes. Most of these thoughts have the words "must", "should" or "Can not stand" within them. As we grow we develope a social schema and set of pesonal morals for right or wrong. Those who often feel the world against them tend to hold a rigid and unquestioned view of how things "should" or "must" be. Also how many times have you heard the phrase "x makes me y". Now unless X is a master hypnotist X cannot make you do something. Anger or outrage is caused because something has challenged your personal values which you have taught yourself over many years are the right thoughts so you feel hurt and express it as anger. In essence the situation is not as you think it "should" be so you make yourself annoyed or angry. For example I note Morph3ous likes classical music. So Morph3ous settles down for an afternoon chilling to Mozarts Flautenconcerto. Just outside his window kids start playing in the park, (of course I have no idea whether this is possible it is merely a fictitous example.) Now the noise is irritating so Morph3ous finds he is feeling annoyed and starts to think about telling them to get lost. He does this because he firmly believes he has a right to peace and quiet. Morph3ous however is a thinker so instead of deciding to do this he examines that "right" After a bit of thought he comes to a few conclusions. Yes he has a right to peace and quiet! The kids however have a right to play in the park, Its daytime and thats what parks are for. Then he examines whether he can stand it. Well it isn't going to kill him and directly it does him no harm. So Morph3ous sits down and drags out his earphones and plugs them in, shrugs and continues to listen to Mozart without wigging out over something he really doesn't have a whole lot of control over! Once you learn the trick of saying to yourself "I feel annoyed because I am uncomfortable with your actions which I feel are inconsiderate of my feelings!" and then expressing that to the perceived offender instead of "Playing the drums at 3 o'clock in the am makes me angry so I'm going to turn my stereo up and annoy you when you want to rest" the better you will be. Just remember though now matter how much more reasoned you start thinking don't expect everyone else to be the same. It's a harder way to act but ultimately everything worth doing is hard to do! Most feelings of insecurity are caused by unhelpful thought processes. Most of these thoughts have the words “must”, “should” or “Can not stand” within them. As we grow we develope a social schema and set of pesonal morals for right or wrong. Those who often feel the world against them tend to hold a rigid and unquestioned view of how things “should” or “must” be.

Also how many times have you heard the phrase “x makes me y”. Now unless X is a master hypnotist X cannot make you do something. Anger or outrage is caused because something has challenged your personal values which you have taught yourself over many years are the right thoughts so you feel hurt and express it as anger. In essence the situation is not as you think it “should” be so you make yourself annoyed or angry.

For example I note Morph3ous likes classical music. So Morph3ous settles down for an afternoon chilling to Mozarts Flautenconcerto. Just outside his window kids start playing in the park, (of course I have no idea whether this is possible it is merely a fictitous example.) Now the noise is irritating so Morph3ous finds he is feeling annoyed and starts to think about telling them to get lost. He does this because he firmly believes he has a right to peace and quiet. Morph3ous however is a thinker so instead of deciding to do this he examines that “right”

After a bit of thought he comes to a few conclusions. Yes he has a right to peace and quiet! The kids however have a right to play in the park, Its daytime and thats what parks are for. Then he examines whether he can stand it. Well it isn’t going to kill him and directly it does him no harm. So Morph3ous sits down and drags out his earphones and plugs them in, shrugs and continues to listen to Mozart without wigging out over something he really doesn’t have a whole lot of control over!

Once you learn the trick of saying to yourself “I feel annoyed because I am uncomfortable with your actions which I feel are inconsiderate of my feelings!” and then expressing that to the perceived offender instead of “Playing the drums at 3 o’clock in the am makes me angry so I’m going to turn my stereo up and annoy you when you want to rest” the better you will be.

Just remember though now matter how much more reasoned you start thinking don’t expect everyone else to be the same. It’s a harder way to act but ultimately everything worth doing is hard to do!

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