My Grandfather is doing much better, and for that I am glad. He aparently still has cancer, but his quality of life has gone up markedly. There is one big problem that existed before and has really messed up the family. My Grandfather has effectively shown repeatedly that he could care less about his children. My Mom has not taken this all too well, nor have my uncle and my aunt on that side of the family.
He had effectively written them out of his will. You’re probably thinking “Oh, a money thing… boring”. It’s about much more than money. My Mom’s biological mother was killed in a car accident as my Grandfather was driving her around Italy. They had collected antique maps from around the world. There are many possessions that he has that provide my Mom, Uncle, and Aunt with a link to their past. He refuses to give any of these sentimental objects to them. Instead he came up with an arbitrary amount of money for each of them. This number was upped twice in response to complaints to him about the will. The problem is that the underlying problem was not money, it was the percentage of assets.
In the current incarnation of the will, my Mom, Aunt, and Uncle combined would be getting about 6% of his assets. That’s 2% each. The rest goes to my Grandmother (my Mom’s step-mom) who is a spendthrift and will blow through it extremely quickly. She seems to already be thinking about buying a condo when he passes on. My parents were pushing for him to set up a trust that would provide well for everyone. A trust controls how assets are distributed over time, and allows one to provide for their loved ones well after their own death.
My Grandfather continually lied to my Mom. He would pretend that he had not understood her side, and that he was going to talk to his lawyer to make changes. Yet, when he went to his lawyer he would say that his only priority was his wife. She acts very monitarily needy, but she has quite a bit stored up so far, and could retire quite comfortably on her own money. She makes him think that she really needs it and that she would not be well off without it. I guess she’ll be able to buy more $2,000 dresses at Bal Harbour. How do I know that he told his lawyer that his main priority is his wife? His lawyer told my Mom. Even my Grandfather’s lawyer thinks he’s being extremely unfair.
Essentially the family down here is torn up. I’m left with the question “Who is my Grandfather?” He always seemed generous and caring. Did he change?
One day when I went to visit my Grandfather, my Grandmother got all emotional. She was upset that I had for all intents and purposes been ignoring her. When she, my Grandfather, and I sat down to talk she told me that my parents were extorting him. If anyone is extorting him, it is her. She either thinks that she is innocent, or pretends very well. I think that it is the former and that she has a mental sickness. I just find it hard to believe that she would purposely be that evil and selfish. Regardless, I have written her off as a total loss. I am now facing whether I will have to do the same with my Grandfather. It’s so awkward talking to him now, when he’s even lied to my face as he has to my Mother. I think he is totally whipped by my Grandmother, and that she has undue influence over his decisions about his will. Maybe he is scared she’ll kick him out of the house if he changed his mind. Whatever the reason, he’s making a really stupid decision. I thought he was a smarter man.